My answer to What are some of the coolest creatures created by speculative biology?
Answer by Desmond Last:
Thankyou for the question. Please be patient and read what follows. It will answer your question.
At last after several hundred thousand years we can reveal the origin of mankind. This is going to come as a shock to you mankind and I hope you are all prepared for it.
Please sit down and keep calm. You will not go into shutdown mode as you have been programmed for this moment.
You are all on Planet Earth a developed species of robot. We visited Planet Earth some thousands of years ago and produced the Mark One Robot.
Whilst the Mark One was a success it did not seem as though the test self-destruct programme was going to work. The Mark Two was brought down by Gabriel – our best programmer.
The self-destruct program is our test matrix – we cannot let the ‘Destroy Evil’ achievement programme return to our Galaxy.
Should the Human Race Robots not eradicate Evil they will self-destruct. Sorry.
It actually looked for a while if the Laboratory Experiment was going to become a reality. Jesus and Muhammad our Chief Scientists tried to reprogram you by inserting the Bible and Quran programs. For a while they seemed to work.
The Human robot was becoming intelligent. He actually wanted World Peace.
However the test programs of Greed, Selfishness and Apathy have become binary monsters. A set of virus that you the People Robots are allowing to become a living Matrix of Hell.
So Human Robots you have failed the self-test we programmed you with.
We gave you all the scripts needed to defeat the Evil Program and you have instead chosen the self-destruct programme.
We have to say you have all had us howling with laughter as you try to develop Artificial Intelligence- that is why we gave you the best intelligence in the Universe – the Human Brain.
So in answer to your question. You were. You were coolest creatures in the universe. God the Head man spent hours working on your blueprint.
Ah well. Onto to the next Laboratory Experiment. Bye Mankind.